I survived

By admin on 10:54 AM

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As the year comes to an end, I had this mixed emotions. Happy, and still on the process of absorbing things that I guess happened too fast, too fast maybe because I give so much time to something that I tend to forget that life just don't revolve in a particular challenge, if there are challenges there are too many blessings. Life has a lot of surprises. It has a lot of twist.

But I guess, what I could really not forget are those things that help me defined as a person. I had been subjected to baseless judgement, which I guess everyone had been through. At some point the image that I had tried to protect was somehow tainted because of nasty rumors. But everything happens for a reason. I had learned to define myself well and composed according to the standard of being refined individual person. I was also subjected to character assasination. It work somehow. It get me distracted but luckily I won over it. I had developed my sense of focus and I had believed in myself this time that I never imagined before. I had a very low self esteem but because of what had happened I am now a person who overcome my weaknesses.

This year, I had determine my weakness. Thankful to the workshops I had attended and thankful to the brothers and sisters in my christian community for I had learned too much from each of them. Because of them I honestly and fully understand myself as a unique person. Weak and vulnerable. As they say, it requires courage before a person would finally acknowledge he is weak and imperfect. As Fr. Adlai says, you will never correct your wrongdoings if you don't have the humility to accept that you are wrong. Admission is a plays an important role.It all starts in here. As I had accepted and determine my weakness, I had done my best to overcome most if not all of it. I had overcome those because I admit to myself that I am weak, imperfect and vulnerable.

And I guess the best thing I learned this year is, despite all the bad things happened in my life, there is so many blessing that I should be thankful about. Those bad things were just spices in my challenging life. It helps me entertained, otherwise I get bored. All things happened had contributed a great plot in my life story. My life had lots of twists. Many unexpected things happened that makes my life more interesting, its a no boring life story. Maybe ten years from now and reading this entry, it will make me cry, cry in appreciation that God was so good to me despite of my imperfection. He is the Loving God that had never ask conditions for him to love and showered me with his enormous blessings.


for all the good and bad things happened, blessings and challenges I'm giving all the glory to my God. In his mighty name, I SURVIVED!!!

Fantasy in Us

By admin on 12:29 AM

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Life is really full of complications. Everyone has its own way of dealing circumstances. All of us has its own point of views on a particular thing. Sometimes it conforms with other's ideas, and sometimes it is simply the opposite. And in this case, arguments arise. We cant forced someone to agree with us, as we cant, ourselves agree with them. But not because our ideas don't conform with one another, someone is wrong. It doesn't mean that you don't agree with someones point of view, they are wrong. This works in vice versa.

Really, life is too complicated. Life is a mystery. Life is a puzzle. Life is unpredictable. Life is to be live as it is. But who makes the life complicated? Is it really a nature of life? Or maybe its just us that makes life complicated? Or maybe its the environment where we live in, that makes it complicated? Whatever it is, the answer lies is in us. We cant answer this question for another person, for he may have different thoughts about it.

As time passes away. As I think that I am growing maturely, somehow I ask myself, I am really growing? or maybe I'm getting immature. There are things that you believe that are right but to others, its not. There are things that you fully understand and to some is like a puzzle. Lately, I realized that their are things I understand better, but it don't conform to someones idea. We argued about it, and to no avail, we ended up unresolved. She sticked to what she believed in, And I stand to mine. I had respected hers, never ask anyone for a back-up. Unlike what she did, she ask some of her friends and ended up working things and thoughts against me. I respected their collective opinions. I respected their collective thoughts. But as I can see, they don't do the same at me. I am still standing to what I thoughts is right. My ideas is never been influenced by other people. This is my stand and I believe in it. If they don't, that's fine, but they don't need to put the blame on me. I really believe and will ever be, to what is right. I am a believer of what is right. For some, they will never believe you, especially if they realized that you are right. Why is that? Why people have that unnecessary pride to admit they are wrong. They will never accept they are and tend to ask symphaty to others. And why there are few people who easily gives that symphaty to that false belief? Accepting that you are wrong is never been a sin ,and it will never be. Humility is what everyone needs to work things out. This also I need as I believe that they need the same.

Another lessons I learned lately is keeping silent. As they say "Silence is often misinterpreted, but never been misquoted". Yes, silence can send false and wrong impression, but on the other hand, it will never be misquoted. It may be misunderstood. And silence has also its disadvantages. If you need to break your silence to shed light on particular matter, it may be helpful. But make sure that you really will shed light.

Life is two faced. Life always leaves us multiple choices and sometimes, or most of the time, it leaves us only two. To be right or to be wrong. We can justify that we are right as we can justify our wrong ideas to be right. Sometimes, this is a world of make believe to some few people. Sometimes you believe too much on false ideas, sometimes you believe too much to yourself. Sometimes you believe too much on your fantasy, justify that's its true. You make fantasy into false reality. Thats the power of yourself. that's the power of false belief.
That is you....
That's us.............

there are things better left unsaid

By admin on 12:09 PM

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It has always been my attitude to speak my mind. As long as i believe that what I know is right I will say it. More so if its true. Lately, I am trying to balance things out. I had been very vocal ever since, most especially to to people I am close with (thats what I believe so). But lately I had realized that because Im so vocal and speaking my mind I had been subject to criticsm, and worst, the worst critic is me. Somehow no matter how good your intention is, we still have to consider other peoples feelings to avoid conflicts. And somehow, there are things that are left better unsaid.

To make things clear to the followers of my blogsite, let me share you an experience. Much that I am concern to some of my friends (or should I say so called friends for I dont know if they consider me as one) I tell them directly and indirectly, that at some point their lazy attitude is severly affecting people around them. I did it out of concern to a friend and nothing more. I did it for I believe its the right thing. Though I am not sure if they get my point 0f telling them what is the real scenario, still I took a risk of telling them because its the truth and it would be helpful if they wil just take it. I had seen that somehow, the person understand, but just at the moment. The next day, things changed. And its sad. I did not regret of telling them what is true though I know that they want to hear something else. But im not the type of person that will say only what they want to hear, more so if its not true. Im not born to be a mambobola just make the person better. I dont feel better making people feeling good out of bola techniques. I would rather suffer the consequence of telling what I know is right that making them feel good out of foolishness.

Now I am trying to be balanced as far as I could. I am trying to weigh things before saying to a person, more so if that person is full of prides and egos. Even though it means less concern to them but I guess, I it is still out of concern why I am trying to avoid of hurting their prides and egos.

Hopefuly they realized it themselves, what went wrong and what had gone bad. If that time comes, that would mean a sweet vindication. A sweet victory not for me but for themselves, for they had grown mature and had overcome something in them.

some are really lucky

By admin on 11:09 AM

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Friday night, 7:00 pm, I woke up because I got a message in my phone. I remember that we had our scheduled household at 8:00 pm at Bro. Dave's House. I heard Nilo and Lemuel calling outside my room . I let them go to Bro Dave's house since Randy is waiting at King Fisher farm and I am a bit worried to this brother since its dark at that place. I let them go ahead of me and i decided to just follow them after.


When I get to bro Dave's house, we had a short practice with some songs and then we started our activity. After the activity, we had our sharing. Whoow, I get to know more about this people. I get to know more about their lives. Nilo shared what he been through. Its hard, really hard. I admired this brother for the courage he had. He is a real survivor in every sense. Some brother also shared about what they've been through. Wow everyone has its own struggles in life. Everyone has it concerns. Everyone has problems that when you just look at them with your two bare eyes, you wont even suspect that somehow they are suffering. Its really good that in the community, we had our sharing from time to time. We had bunch of counselors that would always offer a sensitive and encouraging ideas. Lucky is me to be in this community.


Somehow, I get to ask what would be the benefit of sharing what you had been through in life? Well, first, to inspire others, inspire them of the stories and shared them the lesson you had learned while dealing on the problems. It is also a chance of sharing your burdens with other people. Its always nice and relief is felt when you know someone is listening to you. One benefit also of sharing your concerns is that you make other people realize that they are not just alone in the world having such concerns. Somehow its really good to know na hindi ka nag-iisa.
Hopefully, every concerns with this brothers will be addressed soon. Not in our own time but in God's time. Sooner, things will fall into its perfect place. In God we surrender all.

Are You Gay?

By admin on 5:51 PM

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Are You Gay, Bi, or Straight?

Gay, straight or bisexual? Who are you attracted to, men or women? Maybe you already know the answer, or maybe you are confused or repressed. This little test will help shed light on the issue.
Go ahead and answer honestly. The test results will tell you if you are gay, bi or straight. Whatever you are, embrace it. Don't let the world try to force you to be something you're not!
What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
What is your gender?
Male
Female
When you were a child, did you ever play with toys geared toward the opposite sex?
Yes
No
How many older brothers do you have?
None
One
Two
Three
Four
More than four
Would you consider yourself "confused" about your orientation?
Yes
No
A little
Is your index finger shorter than your ring finger?
Yes
No, it's longer
They're about the same
Have you ever wanted to kiss someone of the same gender?
Yes
No
Ever get excited by nekkid pictures of your same gender?
Yes
No
Have you ever "experimented" with someone of the same gender?
No
Yes, and it was great
Yes, and I didn't like it
Yes, but I'm not interested in anything more than fooling around
Do you watch the Bravo network?
Yes
No
Do you have impeccable taste in curtains?
Yes
No
What do you think about the previous two questions?
Nothing wrong with them
They are unfair gay stereotypes
Have you ever bashed gay people?
Yes, I've mocked or made fun of them
No, I haven't done that

10 Manliest Ways to Die

By admin on 8:00 AM

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Steve IrwinIs it even possible to start a manly list about anything without the Crocodile Hunter?
Steve Irwin died as manly as possible on 2006, while filming a documentary entitled “Ocean’s Deadliest” in Queensland’s Great Barrier Reef.
His heart was impaled by nothing less than a short-tail stingray barb. More manly ways to die here.

worry me... stressed me...

By admin on 2:41 PM

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Just when I thought that everything is going well my way, I find myself thinking back to how it was a few years ago. Life is tough these days and it’s all my fault. No point in blogging about it in detail - I might just lose it.
Back then, life was a lot simpler. I went to school and play after that or watch television until the network signs off(we got no cable in our place, sigh). Back then life is uncomplicated. But what happened now? Is it all my fault? or maybe its just part of being mature? Or maybe I would accept that indeed its the reality that I havent seen when I was still younger and oh immature. Can anyone be exemted with something like this. Now, I have to worry about so many things - bills, career, social life, play dates, my siblings tuition fees and allowances, my future - name it and I’m probably worrying about it for quite sometime.


Maybe I just need another break, break from work, break from friends, break from cellphones. A time to spend with myself alone to reflect what the heck is this all about. Why am I worrying with this things to think that I had survived my daily battles well. Whats the point of worrying these if could manage it effortless. Or maybe I just need to change something inme. Perhaps more aware of the current situation and think more about the future. Perhaps set aside those worries. Perhaps this thing will pass…


I hope tomorrow will be better, and it will be better. I just know it
.

dont know me....

By admin on 2:40 PM

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f you want to know me, don’t look at the color of my skin, not on how funny I look like, neither how serious I might seem…not the smile in my picture……
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if you want to know me, dont look at the clothes I wear, not on stuffs I used, neither through my gadgets…….
######
If you want to know me, dont look at me as harold, dont look at me as your friend nor dont look at me as your enemy…..
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if you really want to know me, see me beyond what your eyes can see. Feel what I feel,know how good I am, and please also know how bad I am…..
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If you want to know me, know how I love my family, know how I love to be love, know how I feel, or simply
just feel my depth………..
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If you really want to know me, look at me, not with your eyes…
for you will never know me,…… I said never….
and I will again said it…. NEVER!!!
Instead, look at me through your heart….
for in such… you will know that I am HAROLD, the one that you really dont know.
Know me….,
know harold for what you dont know,
know me …..(sigh)….
know me beyond what you already know….

live life to the foolest?

By admin on 2:36 PM

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I’m practically living my life the way I want. I’m practical. I live in reality. That’s why, I guess its not so painful if I suffer. That’s life, and that’s reality.

But it does not mean that I don’t care the people around me. Of course they matters. Of course they are love and of course they are important. Its just that we really have to be wise enough on living our individual life. remember the line “Life is what we make it”? Live on reality. Deal with everything that comes on our way.

Somehow, dreaming is good, (yah it is always good, ryt kuya Jun, hahahaha) we don’t pay for it. But still we should be awake and make those dreams come true. WE should do something to make those dream materialize, if we do otherwise, those will remain dreams. A dream that’s is useless. Useless because we don’t make happen.

Live your life as you want it. Don’t live it because of any external factors. Don’t live it as how people want to see it. Live it because it yours. Live it as real as you can. Don’t live on foolishness. Live life to the fullest.

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